Post-Decision Making Slump

I really don't know what to think right now. I don't think this post is really profound or anything, so feel free to stop reading. I just need somewhere to put my thoughts in order.

My life has kind of spun out of my control at the moment, but I'm starting to get a hold on things again. I think it started around the time I was taking the GRE. The test didn't go as I planned so that was a big let down: kind of a slap in the face from life. I've decided to take a year off of school so I can figure out what I really want, and what direction I should be taking. I definitely want to get a Master's in something and continue school, but I think I need to grow up a little bit. It's something that I haven't realized until recently, that I might not be as mature as I'd thought.

A retreat might do me some good, and just generally getting away from things. I'm really looking forward to going to Italy and France with my parents after graduation in May. A trip across the Atlantic might be just what I need. I'm going to try and keep a journal, since it'll only be the three of us, and I'm sure I'll have some sleepless jetlagged nights during that week or so. It'll be great to spend those hours at night writing a little bit. I'm inspired by the classic story (what my roommate Ryn and I call a "menapause movie") "Under the Tuscan Sun". It makes me think that going abroad and just being in another society for a while will cure whatever insecurities I have right now. Hopefully I'll come back with some new perspectives on things, and on life.

For now, I think I'll just focus on my classes, and see where the semester takes me.